The Outhouse Adventure!

I met a guy at the bus stop. He took the same bus as I did to go to work each day and we would usually joke and chat. He was just an all around nice guy. We both worked down town right across the street from each other so the probability was really high that some day we would meet at the food court when buying lunch.  It was not too long before that day came around. While I was having lunch one day he came over and asked if he could sit with me. I agreed and we spent the rest of our lunch hour talking and laughing about almost nothing. I kept looking at him and realized what a nice handsome guy that he was. But as often is the case, looks can be deceiving.

He was recently divorced and was still adjusting to single life. He said that dating again was the toughest thing to get used to. I was divorced as well and totally understood where he was coming from. He said that he was surprised that I was divorced, he said he couldn't imagine any man not wanting to be with me. I blushed when he said that and made some noises that I was not that special. “Well its true!” he said. “From what I know of you, I would love it if you would go out with me”. Before lunch was over we had agreed to go out on a date.

It started out wonderfully. He had some of the same interests as me so we seemed to get along just great.We took it slow which was fine by me because neither one of us wanted to rush into anything too soon. As time went on and we began to talk about the next step in our relationship we both confided in each other that we had not engaged in sex with anyone since our divorces. Both of us were pretty uptight about it. What if we did something wrong? What if we got into a bad relationship again? We made plans to go up to his cottage the following weekend just the two of us. It was going to be so romantic.

Well the day came and he drove down to my house to pick me up for our romantic weekend get away. As a matter of fact that’s exactly what I should have told him, “GET AWAY”, but like a love starved teenager I had fallen for a handsome face and a sad story. His idea of a cottage certainly did not match mine. It needed a ton of work. I had no idea what he was thinking to take me (or any woman for that matter) there. I am not a super particular person most of the time, but this was so far below my expectations that I was entirely speechless!  In the end, we had to sleep in a very small tent that he set up. We ate first. It was not much because we had to cook over an open fire, which was not that bad. When we finally crawled into bed I was exhausted. As I stretched out, something moved under my hand. I was looking at the biggest garter snake I had ever seen! I screamed like the girl I was and ran terrified into the night in terror. He ran after me asking what he could do. I said I was scared because that is not the type of snake I was expecting!

The next morning I politely packed my things, thanked him for a somewhat interesting evening and told him that I just didn't think it would work. I felt like a heel as he quietly drove me home, but I needed to look out for myself. I was concerned that his exaggeration of his cottage was just the tip of the iceberg. How could I trust him?

That night my friend told me about a fantastic link she visited that took her to hundreds of great dating sites. Since I had nothing to lose I decided to give it a try.

I joined at least three different sites that looked like they would meet my needs, but after a few months, I had almost given up hope. It was not as if I was not meeting men, it was just that there was no spark when we finally dated in person. That je ne sais quois is just so necessary for a long term relationship. I had 'settled' the first time around, and I was determined not to make the same mistake again. It was at this point that I met 'him'! He scored 100% on my checklist of what I wanted. We had interacted online for some time before he finally gave me his phone number. By this time I was starting to dispare that he did not like me or something. When I called him he seemed to sound a little familiar but I could not remember where I heard that voice. I could not believe how easy and natural it was for me to talk to him. I mean, by the second phone call we seemed to be completing each others thoughts already. He was just perfect! I was so glad I got that link. It was the best gift ever! . I was floating on air. I felt like a teenager again.|I was bouncing around like a teenager. Bubbling with enthusiasm and overjoyed. All my friends noticed and remarked on it!. During that time, I was so happy that all my friends kept commenting on it. What a joy he brought to my life!

We had a bit of a strange relationship in a way because I had never actually seen a picture of him. Whenever I had broached the subject, he said that he did not take good pictures and that he wanted me to see him face to face first.The day finally arrived when we decided to meet in person for the first time. When we talked on the phone the last couple of times, he had weirded me out a bit. He said that he was afraid I would  take one look at him and run the other way. Now I was a little confused. Maybe he looked like a Leprechaun! I assured him I would never do that.

He suggested that instead of picking me up it would be better for me to meet him at his summer home. He gave me directions and as I drove along I noticed that the scenery seem to be a little familiar. Then it hit me, the out house guy has a cottage up this way. “NO”( please God say it isn't so). But it was. I was in my third round of kicking myself when he flagged me down on the road. He had been waiting for me a short ways from his tent villa!

As he walked up to the car, I was scrambling around inside looking for something to deck him with. I finally decided that my purse was the only viable weapon. He caught my hands before I could do anything, told me to calm down and wait to see the rest of his surprise before I reacted. As he lead me to what I thought was going to be the old out house, I stopped dead in my tracks. I was stunned! I couldn't believe my eyes! There standing before me was the most beautiful cottage I had ever seen. He said he had never stopped loving me, but felt that he had to do something special to win me back.

He told me that he realized that he had handled the situation before pretty ham handedly. He said he had just purchased the lot, and had wanted me to see it before he started to do anything so that we could plan our cottage together. He wanted to surprise me, but realized that he should have told me what he was up to. After things when bad so fast, he did not see any reasonable way to salvage the mess. I felt like a complete ass for misjudging him so badly!

That was four years ago, and we are still going strong. We married a year later and life could not be any better for either of us.

I know I met him before I found him again on a dating site but it was that link that gave me a second chance with him and total happiness. My best friend gave me that link to happiness, and I have been truly blessed since that happened. Everything good in my life dates back to that simple gesture on her part. She walks on water in my eyes. I am forever grateful to her!

So if you are in that same lonely situation that I was in, and see no way out, then click the link below. It was my key to happiness, and hopefully it can be yours as well.

Find Your Match

Sex Products - Read The Label

Although this happened a few years ago, it is still an experience worth passing on.  It was one of those moments that in hindsight was truly funny, but at the time was really, really embarrassing!

I was in a fairly committed relationship at the time. It was long enough that we were exclusive, and we were not using condoms of any sort for sex. After all, I was on the pill, and neither of us had any disease to be concerned about. Why would we need condoms?  In any event, we had been enjoying sex for quite some time.  Looking back, I realize that he was the first person that I had oral sex with. I was only passable at it, but he was amazing. Boy could he get me off!

Unfortunately he was never the longest lasting guy in the world when it came to regular sex, and I had sort of taught myself to come quickly if I wanted any form of orgasm at all. But I really, really wanted to have one of those deep, soul wrenching orgasms that I had read about so often in the books that I loved to read. He was just so good at the oral that I was pretty happy for the most part, but I longed for that feeling that I had read about. I mean, it just felt so good for the short time that he was in there that I was sure that my head would come off if he could last longer.

Feeling a bit frustrated, and not wanting to talk to either him or my friends about it, I decided to act on my own.  I ventured into a sex shop for the first time in my life.  After skulking around picking up random items off the shelves for a bit, I finally approached an older woman who worked there and explained my dilemma.  She was very nice about it and made me feel comfortable. Apparently it is quite common for younger men to be a bit too excited when having sex and they just do not have any control. She said that she had a numbing cream that would desensitize everything and help him to last longer. It seemed like just the right thing, so I purchased it and brought it home.

Time seemed to be at a standstill for the rest of the day. I knew that I was in the possession of the secret formula that was going to change my sex life. Take it from something good to something that was the envy of the gods on Olympus! I had been waiting my whole adult life for this! I was going to have the kind of orgasm that would make the gods weep, make the earth stop in its orbit, and make a fifty dollar prostitute jealous!

That night, just before we went to bed, I went to the bathroom and applied the cream to my vagina. I could feel the effects immediately! I jumped into bed and started to seduce him. We kissed long and passionately, then he started to kiss me on the neck, then my nipples. I was going wild. At that point, he started to lick my pussy!

I was waiting for my usual response to his tongue, but something was wrong. It did not feel right! I was just not feeling him like normal. I kept telling him to go faster. Pretty soon I was screaming it! When he tried to respond, nothing but garbled nonsense came out of his mouth. He was looking a bit wild eyed! He ran to the bathroom and started to rinse his mouth out with water. In a desperate measure, he started to wash his mouth with soap, but all that did was make him gag. He still could not talk.  Gradually the effects seemed to lessen, and after a half hour or so he could talk again.

He asked me if I knew what had happened.  When I explained my problem, he looked at me strangely and then asked to see the tube. After he read them, he started to shake his head and then looked at me. He guessed that I had not actually read any instructions. I said that the woman in the store told me to just rub it on. How hard was that?  He said yes, that was true, but I was supposed to rub it on him!  On top of that admonition, apparently the instructions also forbade oral sex while using that product!

I was shocked, then embarrassed. I blushed like a virgin seeing a man naked for the first time. Then I started chuckling. He started to laugh too. Pretty soon we were rolling around the bed laughing so hard that I almost peed. Good thing I did not because we were still stark naked.

Well it has been many years since that night. I have been to sex shops more than once since then, but now I always read the instructions very, very carefully.  Unfortunately, our relationship did not last for very long after that night. His career took him some place I could not go. But of all the men I have loved, he is the one that I always smile about when I think of him.

For more sex advice and funny stories, try this link:

Relationships Advice For Women

Sleeping With A Snake!

I first met him on the subway. He usually rode the same car as I did to go to work each day and we would usually joke and chat. He was always a perfect gentleman. We both worked down town right across the street from each other so it was just a matter of time before we met in the food court. That day finally came. While I was having lunch one day he came over and asked if he could sit with me. I said sure go ahead and we spent our whole lunch hour talking and laughing. I thought to my self what a great guy and not bad looking either. As you know, looks are not everything, but on that day I have to admit that his looks got me hooked as much as his charm.

He was recently divorced and was still adjusting to single life. He said that dating again was the toughest thing to get used to. Since I was also divorced, it was easy to commiserate with him on this point. He was a bit taken aback to find out I was divorced, he said he couldn't imagine any man not wanting to be with me. I said that it was nice of him to say that. “Well its true!” he said. “You are pretty special in my eyes, and  I would give my eye teeth if you would go out with me”. So we ended up agreeing to go on a date together.

It started out wonderfully. He had some of the same interests as me so we seemed to get along just great.Since both of us were a bit gun shy, we decided to take things a bit slow at first. As we grew closer, it just seemed inevitable that the day would come when we wanted to take things to the next level. Needless to say, both of us were quite nervous about that. Even so, we both made a commitment to go to his cottage for a romantic interlude the next weekend.

When the weekend came, he picked me up and we drove to his “cottage”. We pulled up to the so called cottage and to my surprise it looked like an outhouse. This place needed a ton of work. It was not even safe to walk into!  We had to sleep in a very small tent that I discovered had a very large snake inside. As I fled into the night screaming in fear, he ran behind me asking what he could do to make the situation more livable. I told him to get a bigger tent, like the kind a circus uses, and a queen size bed minimum. I told him that the only type of snake I was expecting to see was a trouser snake, and I had hoped it would be a good sized one too.

The next day I told him that I did not think that we would be able to make a life together. I felt bad as he drove me home, but what else could I do? He totally lied about his love nest to me. What else would he lie to me about in the future?

Later that evening, I talked to my best friend about how upset and let down I was. She proceeded to tell me some outrageous stories about crazy things that had happened to her over the years. I was laughing so hard by the end that I had tears coming out of my eyes. Thank God for that. At the end she let me know this site on the Internet that she had used to find some decent dating sites. It was how she had found her current boyfriend, and it was looking pretty serious. I thought, “What the heck. How can it hurt?” So I gave it a try.

I had almost given up hope again after several months of being on more than one dating site. I would have quit if my sister and friends did not keep encouraging me. I mean, I had chatted and emailed a bunch of different guys, and had even gone out with a few, but there was just no chemistry. It was at this low point in my online dating adventure that I stumbled onto 'him'. He was what I was looking for. Finally! It was as if God had tailor made him for me! We talked online for several weeks and then he gave me his phone number and asked me to give him a call. When I called, there seemed to be something familiar about his voice, but I could not place it. We had a great time talking over the next few weeks. He liked everything that I liked it seemed. And he was not faking it, because he could actually talk in depth about the things I was interested in. We did not always agree, but we sure had fun! And it was just so stimulating! I was so joyous I had someone who cared about me enough to give me that URL. I still cannot imagine what a better gift could be. |I was floating on air. I felt like a teenager again.|I was bouncing around like a teenager. Bubbling with enthusiasm and overjoyed. All my friends noticed and remarked on it!|During that time, I was so happy that all my friends kept commenting on it. What a joy he brought to my life!

About the only thing that was strange about our online relationship was that I had never seen his picture. He said that he was not photogenic and felt it would be best if I judged his looks by seeing him in person.The day finally came for me to meet my prince charming but something was not quite right when we spoke on the phone the night before. He suggested that I would run the other way when I saw him and that left me confused. I was beginning to be concerned about what he looked like. I had visions of the Hump Back of Notre Dame going through my head! Even when I gave him my assurances that I would stay put, he still seemed unconvinced.

He suggested that instead of picking me up it would be better for me to meet him at his summer home. He gave me directions and as I drove along I noticed that the scenery seem to be a little familiar. Then like a ton of bricks, it hit me. This is where the snake guy lived! Holy Cow! What had I gotten into? I almost turned around and left, but I had given him my word, so I was determined to see it through to the end. He met me on the road about a half mile from where I was to meet him, no wonder he was worried I would run.

As I got out of the car, I walked to the trunk opened it and proceeded to look for my tire iron so I could clobber him. He caught my hands before I could do anything, told me to calm down and wait to see the rest of his surprise before I reacted. As he lead me to what I thought was going to be the old out house, I stopped dead in my tracks. I was stunned! I couldn't believe my eyes! There standing before me was the most beautiful cottage I had ever seen. He said he had never stopped loving me, but felt that he had to do something special to win me back.

He told me he decided to finish the cottage for me first, because I deserved something special and nice. He took out a loan and used all his savings. He did all that just for me! “WOW!” I was overwhelmed. I began to cry to think that someone could care about me so much.

That was quite some time ago now, and things are even better now than they were then. The more I am with him, the more I love him. We finally tied the knot a couple of years later, even though we lived together for quite a while first. That was just me making sure that we were really compatible. If anything, the more I am with him even now, the more certain I am that every bad thing that had happened in my life before I met him happened so that I could appreciate him better.

Now technically, I did not meet this guy on that dating site really, but if I had not met him again anonymously, I would likely have never given him that second chance. Ouch! Thank God for that dating site! My best friend has earned my perpetual gratitude for giving me that URL. I am forever grateful to her.

So if you are in that same lonely situation that I was in, and see no way out, then click the link below. It was my key to happiness, and hopefully it can be yours as well.

Meet The Love of Your Life