The Outhouse Adventure!

I met a guy at the bus stop. He took the same bus as I did to go to work each day and we would usually joke and chat. He was just an all around nice guy. We both worked down town right across the street from each other so the probability was really high that some day we would meet at the food court when buying lunch.  It was not too long before that day came around. While I was having lunch one day he came over and asked if he could sit with me. I agreed and we spent the rest of our lunch hour talking and laughing about almost nothing. I kept looking at him and realized what a nice handsome guy that he was. But as often is the case, looks can be deceiving.

He was recently divorced and was still adjusting to single life. He said that dating again was the toughest thing to get used to. I was divorced as well and totally understood where he was coming from. He said that he was surprised that I was divorced, he said he couldn't imagine any man not wanting to be with me. I blushed when he said that and made some noises that I was not that special. “Well its true!” he said. “From what I know of you, I would love it if you would go out with me”. Before lunch was over we had agreed to go out on a date.

It started out wonderfully. He had some of the same interests as me so we seemed to get along just great.We took it slow which was fine by me because neither one of us wanted to rush into anything too soon. As time went on and we began to talk about the next step in our relationship we both confided in each other that we had not engaged in sex with anyone since our divorces. Both of us were pretty uptight about it. What if we did something wrong? What if we got into a bad relationship again? We made plans to go up to his cottage the following weekend just the two of us. It was going to be so romantic.

Well the day came and he drove down to my house to pick me up for our romantic weekend get away. As a matter of fact that’s exactly what I should have told him, “GET AWAY”, but like a love starved teenager I had fallen for a handsome face and a sad story. His idea of a cottage certainly did not match mine. It needed a ton of work. I had no idea what he was thinking to take me (or any woman for that matter) there. I am not a super particular person most of the time, but this was so far below my expectations that I was entirely speechless!  In the end, we had to sleep in a very small tent that he set up. We ate first. It was not much because we had to cook over an open fire, which was not that bad. When we finally crawled into bed I was exhausted. As I stretched out, something moved under my hand. I was looking at the biggest garter snake I had ever seen! I screamed like the girl I was and ran terrified into the night in terror. He ran after me asking what he could do. I said I was scared because that is not the type of snake I was expecting!

The next morning I politely packed my things, thanked him for a somewhat interesting evening and told him that I just didn't think it would work. I felt like a heel as he quietly drove me home, but I needed to look out for myself. I was concerned that his exaggeration of his cottage was just the tip of the iceberg. How could I trust him?

That night my friend told me about a fantastic link she visited that took her to hundreds of great dating sites. Since I had nothing to lose I decided to give it a try.

I joined at least three different sites that looked like they would meet my needs, but after a few months, I had almost given up hope. It was not as if I was not meeting men, it was just that there was no spark when we finally dated in person. That je ne sais quois is just so necessary for a long term relationship. I had 'settled' the first time around, and I was determined not to make the same mistake again. It was at this point that I met 'him'! He scored 100% on my checklist of what I wanted. We had interacted online for some time before he finally gave me his phone number. By this time I was starting to dispare that he did not like me or something. When I called him he seemed to sound a little familiar but I could not remember where I heard that voice. I could not believe how easy and natural it was for me to talk to him. I mean, by the second phone call we seemed to be completing each others thoughts already. He was just perfect! I was so glad I got that link. It was the best gift ever! . I was floating on air. I felt like a teenager again.|I was bouncing around like a teenager. Bubbling with enthusiasm and overjoyed. All my friends noticed and remarked on it!. During that time, I was so happy that all my friends kept commenting on it. What a joy he brought to my life!

We had a bit of a strange relationship in a way because I had never actually seen a picture of him. Whenever I had broached the subject, he said that he did not take good pictures and that he wanted me to see him face to face first.The day finally arrived when we decided to meet in person for the first time. When we talked on the phone the last couple of times, he had weirded me out a bit. He said that he was afraid I would  take one look at him and run the other way. Now I was a little confused. Maybe he looked like a Leprechaun! I assured him I would never do that.

He suggested that instead of picking me up it would be better for me to meet him at his summer home. He gave me directions and as I drove along I noticed that the scenery seem to be a little familiar. Then it hit me, the out house guy has a cottage up this way. “NO”( please God say it isn't so). But it was. I was in my third round of kicking myself when he flagged me down on the road. He had been waiting for me a short ways from his tent villa!

As he walked up to the car, I was scrambling around inside looking for something to deck him with. I finally decided that my purse was the only viable weapon. He caught my hands before I could do anything, told me to calm down and wait to see the rest of his surprise before I reacted. As he lead me to what I thought was going to be the old out house, I stopped dead in my tracks. I was stunned! I couldn't believe my eyes! There standing before me was the most beautiful cottage I had ever seen. He said he had never stopped loving me, but felt that he had to do something special to win me back.

He told me that he realized that he had handled the situation before pretty ham handedly. He said he had just purchased the lot, and had wanted me to see it before he started to do anything so that we could plan our cottage together. He wanted to surprise me, but realized that he should have told me what he was up to. After things when bad so fast, he did not see any reasonable way to salvage the mess. I felt like a complete ass for misjudging him so badly!

That was four years ago, and we are still going strong. We married a year later and life could not be any better for either of us.

I know I met him before I found him again on a dating site but it was that link that gave me a second chance with him and total happiness. My best friend gave me that link to happiness, and I have been truly blessed since that happened. Everything good in my life dates back to that simple gesture on her part. She walks on water in my eyes. I am forever grateful to her!

So if you are in that same lonely situation that I was in, and see no way out, then click the link below. It was my key to happiness, and hopefully it can be yours as well.

Find Your Match

Sex Products - Read The Label

Although this happened a few years ago, it is still an experience worth passing on.  It was one of those moments that in hindsight was truly funny, but at the time was really, really embarrassing!

I was in a fairly committed relationship at the time. It was long enough that we were exclusive, and we were not using condoms of any sort for sex. After all, I was on the pill, and neither of us had any disease to be concerned about. Why would we need condoms?  In any event, we had been enjoying sex for quite some time.  Looking back, I realize that he was the first person that I had oral sex with. I was only passable at it, but he was amazing. Boy could he get me off!

Unfortunately he was never the longest lasting guy in the world when it came to regular sex, and I had sort of taught myself to come quickly if I wanted any form of orgasm at all. But I really, really wanted to have one of those deep, soul wrenching orgasms that I had read about so often in the books that I loved to read. He was just so good at the oral that I was pretty happy for the most part, but I longed for that feeling that I had read about. I mean, it just felt so good for the short time that he was in there that I was sure that my head would come off if he could last longer.

Feeling a bit frustrated, and not wanting to talk to either him or my friends about it, I decided to act on my own.  I ventured into a sex shop for the first time in my life.  After skulking around picking up random items off the shelves for a bit, I finally approached an older woman who worked there and explained my dilemma.  She was very nice about it and made me feel comfortable. Apparently it is quite common for younger men to be a bit too excited when having sex and they just do not have any control. She said that she had a numbing cream that would desensitize everything and help him to last longer. It seemed like just the right thing, so I purchased it and brought it home.

Time seemed to be at a standstill for the rest of the day. I knew that I was in the possession of the secret formula that was going to change my sex life. Take it from something good to something that was the envy of the gods on Olympus! I had been waiting my whole adult life for this! I was going to have the kind of orgasm that would make the gods weep, make the earth stop in its orbit, and make a fifty dollar prostitute jealous!

That night, just before we went to bed, I went to the bathroom and applied the cream to my vagina. I could feel the effects immediately! I jumped into bed and started to seduce him. We kissed long and passionately, then he started to kiss me on the neck, then my nipples. I was going wild. At that point, he started to lick my pussy!

I was waiting for my usual response to his tongue, but something was wrong. It did not feel right! I was just not feeling him like normal. I kept telling him to go faster. Pretty soon I was screaming it! When he tried to respond, nothing but garbled nonsense came out of his mouth. He was looking a bit wild eyed! He ran to the bathroom and started to rinse his mouth out with water. In a desperate measure, he started to wash his mouth with soap, but all that did was make him gag. He still could not talk.  Gradually the effects seemed to lessen, and after a half hour or so he could talk again.

He asked me if I knew what had happened.  When I explained my problem, he looked at me strangely and then asked to see the tube. After he read them, he started to shake his head and then looked at me. He guessed that I had not actually read any instructions. I said that the woman in the store told me to just rub it on. How hard was that?  He said yes, that was true, but I was supposed to rub it on him!  On top of that admonition, apparently the instructions also forbade oral sex while using that product!

I was shocked, then embarrassed. I blushed like a virgin seeing a man naked for the first time. Then I started chuckling. He started to laugh too. Pretty soon we were rolling around the bed laughing so hard that I almost peed. Good thing I did not because we were still stark naked.

Well it has been many years since that night. I have been to sex shops more than once since then, but now I always read the instructions very, very carefully.  Unfortunately, our relationship did not last for very long after that night. His career took him some place I could not go. But of all the men I have loved, he is the one that I always smile about when I think of him.

For more sex advice and funny stories, try this link:

Relationships Advice For Women

Avoiding The Pitfalls Of Popular First Date Activities

Did you know that the first few dates with someone new are the most critical? Most people understand this, but some do not. At issue are the sometime conflicting needs of being yourself, thus setting a realistic expectation that you can live up to, while at the same time trying to sell yourself as an already successful person, which may not be 100% true. Unfortunately, a lot of popular date ideas have hidden dangers that a lot of people are unaware of. To aid you in your quest, this post will try to give you some typical initial date activities, and the key things to avoid. Now if they do happen, you’ll be prepared and ready so you look like a together sort of person. Let’s begin.

 Miniature Golf Ranges

This seems like a sure fire way to have some quiet time together where you are by yourselves. Perfect for innocuous chatting. You’ve got an easy evening of walking through a few mini putt holes, right? Wrong! Even this potential snuggle fest venue can have dangers around every corner.

First thing you have to know is that it is never a good idea to get too competitive. Ensure that you use the close contact to have fun, not compete. If you get too hung up on who wins, it’ll just get ugly in a hurry, especially if your date wins. Better to appear to be a good sport no matter who is victorious.  And keep your jokes about long stiff putters, tiny holes and big balls to yourself!

Frisbee Tossing

Throwing Frisbees with your new love when on a picnic can be a lot of fun. There are some things you have to remember though. If your paramour is not that adept at catching Frisbees, you can embarrass her. Make sure that you lob in some easy ones to start to assess her skill level. If she can handle it then you can increase the intensity a bit. Just make sure that you never toss it so hard that you run the risk of breaking a nose if she misses it. That will definitely put a damper on the rest of the day's entertainment!

On another note, stay away from windy locations like the beach so you do not lose control of it. Losing control of you disc could end up with you getting wet retrieving it, or else it hits somebody and you might just have a battle royal on your hands. Better to set up in a nice clearing or sheltered area someplace away from the crowds. Besides, you do not need her comparing you to all the muscle bound he-man types that frequent beaches in the first place!



Going to the show is very popular for a couple of reasons. The right selection of movie and snacks will put your girl in a relaxed and erotic mood. Movies give you a break from holding up your end of the conversation for a couple of hours, and afterwards is a natural topic of conversation that can last another hour or so with minimal effort. Just make sure you avoid the next couple of pitfalls.

Likely the first surprise for you might be the price. If you have not been to a movie in a while, you may be surprised. Twenty five dollars plus another twenty for snacks is not unusual for a first line movie. IMAX is even more expensive than a regular movie.

The choice of movie is your second most important factor. If it’s a new movie, make sure you reserve tickets by phone. Plus, I’d advise against any movie where Brad Pitt takes his shirt off. Sure, she’ll be turned on by him, but when you’re back at her place, and you take your shirt off, she’ll compare, and you won’t come out on top (or bottom for that matter).

Choose a good romantic chic flick to turn her on. You know, something where the leading man is always considerate and supporting of the leading lady. Light comic movies are second best. Even a movie like meatballs has a romantic ending. So even the right comedy movie can end on a decent tone. Avoid non-romantic themes. Clint Eastwood was a handsome rugged dude in his day, but most of his movies were anything but romantic. They would leave your lady cold at the end of the night!


Going To A Live Concert

Make sure that the band is to her taste! It’s no good taking her to see a reggae show if that’s what you’re into, but she’s not. Choose what she likes. Remember to keep her safe at all times. If you go to a venue where there are likely be be a lot of obnoxious drunks, try to keep a low profile. Better yet, avoid such places!

If you have been to a loud performance, there is a good chance that both of you will be partially deaf afterwards. For a short time after leaving a loud venue, it is easy to mis-communicate. So if you think she just invited you to do the horizontal mambo, make sure that is what she really said before engaging in that activity. You do not want to come across as a sex fiend, or a rapist.

And remember that if you have been dancing up a storm all night, you will likely be stinky with sweat afterwards. Make sure that you take a second to wash and apply some deodorant before you leave the club!

   
Carnival Rides

Taking your honey to an amusement park would appear to be a no-brainer fun time. Some rides, like roller coasters, are sure fire ways to get her to grab you. It is a great venue for fun rides, challenging games, and eating sweet treats and street meat. Accidentally winning a stuffed toy has a side benefit giving her a reminder of your time together that day. Just remember that there is a reason why carnies are in business, so do not set any expectations that you will win. With most carnival games it is more luck than skill that has you walking away with anything. You can go broke trying, and you can tick your date if you spend too much time trying to win.

Food can be another gotcha. The food may taste good at the time, but eat sparingly. Who knows how sanitary the facilities are that produced it. Rides and food do not mix well, and since most rides give you a thrill by making your stomach flip-flop, there is a strong chance that you might lose your collective cookies. Play it safe and make sure that your evening ends enjoyably.

And one last tip: when you’re on the roller coaster, there is usually a picture taken of you as you’re at the scariest point, which you can see and buy when you finish the ride. Try not to look too scared. Better to look as macho as possible, even if you are wetting your pants a little at the time. Brave face, soldier!

The Penny Arcade Date

Even if your date is not into gaming, the both of you can still have fun with it. Of course she might surprise you and whip your hind end. On that note, you should never boast ahead of time about how great you are at gaming in general. Besides, losing is okay. It gives you the perfect excuse to take her back there some other day for a re-match.


Java

Even the seemingly safest date possible – the coffee date – has some problems you have to anticipate. And this is most likely to happen if the date is going particularly well. If you extend your date so that you consume several cups of coffee, you can get so buzzed that you start talking like a machine gun. Your hands start to twitch and you end up looking like an idiot. Do not drink more than a couple of cups. At that point, swing over to something decaffeinated, like a juice or water or herbal tea. You will look more worldly, and she would be more likely to admire you because you are seemingly health conscious.




As Forest Gump would say, "That is about all I have to say about that". If there is a date I missed, the trick is just to think ahead. Go through the whole date in your mind, and anticipate what could go wrong. Have solutions ready to go if the worst does happen. By doing this, you will look like a mature individual that she would be happy to be with. The type of person that she will break dates for rather than someone to break dates with.


For other relationship advice,  you should take a look here as well:
Advice For Men When Dating

Losers I Have Dated

As a single working women I was tired of coming home to an empty apartment and eating alone every night. I did not have a ton of time on my hands to prowl bars. I did not have the finances to be out every night either, so I thought I should try a free online dating site. I had a friend who suggested that I give Plenty-Of-Fish a try. The same seemed weird to me, but I trusted my friend so I created a profile. I mean, there was nothing to lose but my time, because the site is pretty much free. I do not know about most areas, but where I come from there are not so many fish in the sea. At least not keepers.

My first date with anyone from POF was with a guy from France. On our first date, the only thing that he wanted to do was to go to his house for drinks. I was hungry and suggested that we go to dinner first. He very calmly sized me up and then said, “I am not interested in feeding your, I am only interested in having sex with you.” You have three guesses to as to what I said, and the first two do not count!

You have no idea how long I could go on telling you about the weirdos that I met on POF. Pigs who tell you anything to get you in bed. From just plain liars to married men, to just mere perverts. The psychos that continue to call even after you tell them to go fly a kite, and threaten to call the police. From my experiences, the site has so many abnormal personalities on it, I wonder if the penal system is allowing access to dating sites. Certainly a Lady Gaga video I have seen would suggest that POF is available from inside.

I have never seen a place before with such a concentration of liars and cheats. In my several months with POF I met over twenty guys in person. Most of them never got past the first date. A couple got to the second date but no farther. And it turns out that the only one with more potential than that confessed to be an illegal alien on the fifth date. I liked the guy, but with an agenda like that I could never be sure why he was interested in me. One way that I found to cull out a lot of them was to insist on going on video chat with them. I kept setting up throw away accounts on Hotmail just for that purpose. Many would not, and several who did should not have because they looked unkept, and nothing like their pictures. POF does have its good points I suppose. If you are of average or even a bit below average in the looks department, you will get more than your fair share of attention.

For me, the last straw with that particular dating site came when I met an accountant. He lived in a loft condo in Manhattan. Not cheap! The evening started out on a high note. We went to a really nice Italian restaurant, where we ordered lasagna and a nice Chianti to go with it. For desert we had tiramisu. I had never went back to anyone's apartment before on a first date, but I made a rare exception in his case. Everything seemed to be on the up and up with him. He was attentive in his apartment as well. We listened to music while we talked and kissed and snuggled. It was so great!  Of course, the inevitable happened. He outright asked me if I would mind wearing a horse tail butt plug and prance around the living room for him. Well after yelling at him a bit, using words like creep, pervert, twisted, and I forget what all else, I smacked him with my purse and cantered out of his life.

At that point, I went home and deleted my profile on Plenty Of Fish. It seems to be a popular site, but for me it was a complete waste of time. I was discouraged, and decided to never join another dating site.I was in the dumps about all of this and I promised myself that I would never do internet dating again. My friend, seeing how disillusioned I had become, decided to do some searching of her own. She told me she had stumbled upon a link that took her to a page that was full of dating site links for all kinds of dating preferences. She twisted my arm a bit and got me to at least check it out to see if I could find a better place than POF. When I got there I viewed it with a lot of skepticism, but once I realized the POF was not on their recommended list, they gained a bit in my esteem.  I was also surprised to find that eharmony was not there either – with all the ads on TV I had seen, they were the one I was going to try next, but they were just so darn expensive. After carefully checking out the different sites I choose a couple to try. For me it was a really, really good move. I am meeting men now who are more interested in long term relationships, and they are not looking for any type of perverted one night stands. My social life suddenly got a whole lot better, and I am enjoying life again.

Not all free dating sites are bad, but there are some out there that don't really care who joins, which is why you have to be on your guard. Some sites will take that little extra step in an effort to keep their site safe. Bad apples will always find away to slip in to any site though, so its up to you to be aware of this and to not give out to much private information.

So check out the following link. I am sure you will find not only great sites like I did, but some really good advice in the articles. Good luck.

Dating Advice for Women