Showing posts with label online chat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label online chat. Show all posts
Friday, 13 April 2012
Sex Products - Read The Label
Although this happened a few years ago, it is still an experience worth passing on. It was one of those moments that in hindsight was truly funny, but at the time was really, really embarrassing!
I was in a fairly committed relationship at the time. It was long enough that we were exclusive, and we were not using condoms of any sort for sex. After all, I was on the pill, and neither of us had any disease to be concerned about. Why would we need condoms? In any event, we had been enjoying sex for quite some time. Looking back, I realize that he was the first person that I had oral sex with. I was only passable at it, but he was amazing. Boy could he get me off!
Unfortunately he was never the longest lasting guy in the world when it came to regular sex, and I had sort of taught myself to come quickly if I wanted any form of orgasm at all. But I really, really wanted to have one of those deep, soul wrenching orgasms that I had read about so often in the books that I loved to read. He was just so good at the oral that I was pretty happy for the most part, but I longed for that feeling that I had read about. I mean, it just felt so good for the short time that he was in there that I was sure that my head would come off if he could last longer.
Feeling a bit frustrated, and not wanting to talk to either him or my friends about it, I decided to act on my own. I ventured into a sex shop for the first time in my life. After skulking around picking up random items off the shelves for a bit, I finally approached an older woman who worked there and explained my dilemma. She was very nice about it and made me feel comfortable. Apparently it is quite common for younger men to be a bit too excited when having sex and they just do not have any control. She said that she had a numbing cream that would desensitize everything and help him to last longer. It seemed like just the right thing, so I purchased it and brought it home.
Time seemed to be at a standstill for the rest of the day. I knew that I was in the possession of the secret formula that was going to change my sex life. Take it from something good to something that was the envy of the gods on Olympus! I had been waiting my whole adult life for this! I was going to have the kind of orgasm that would make the gods weep, make the earth stop in its orbit, and make a fifty dollar prostitute jealous!
That night, just before we went to bed, I went to the bathroom and applied the cream to my vagina. I could feel the effects immediately! I jumped into bed and started to seduce him. We kissed long and passionately, then he started to kiss me on the neck, then my nipples. I was going wild. At that point, he started to lick my pussy!
I was waiting for my usual response to his tongue, but something was wrong. It did not feel right! I was just not feeling him like normal. I kept telling him to go faster. Pretty soon I was screaming it! When he tried to respond, nothing but garbled nonsense came out of his mouth. He was looking a bit wild eyed! He ran to the bathroom and started to rinse his mouth out with water. In a desperate measure, he started to wash his mouth with soap, but all that did was make him gag. He still could not talk. Gradually the effects seemed to lessen, and after a half hour or so he could talk again.
He asked me if I knew what had happened. When I explained my problem, he looked at me strangely and then asked to see the tube. After he read them, he started to shake his head and then looked at me. He guessed that I had not actually read any instructions. I said that the woman in the store told me to just rub it on. How hard was that? He said yes, that was true, but I was supposed to rub it on him! On top of that admonition, apparently the instructions also forbade oral sex while using that product!
I was shocked, then embarrassed. I blushed like a virgin seeing a man naked for the first time. Then I started chuckling. He started to laugh too. Pretty soon we were rolling around the bed laughing so hard that I almost peed. Good thing I did not because we were still stark naked.
Well it has been many years since that night. I have been to sex shops more than once since then, but now I always read the instructions very, very carefully. Unfortunately, our relationship did not last for very long after that night. His career took him some place I could not go. But of all the men I have loved, he is the one that I always smile about when I think of him.
For more sex advice and funny stories, try this link:
Relationships Advice For Women
Friday, 16 March 2012
Chat Online
My friend has the worst luck, early one evening as a young boy he climbed a hugh tree that looked like a totem pole in the front yard and “you guessed it” he got stuck up there. As the fire department showed up a crowd began to gather around the house to see the clown that got stuck in the tree, they used a large ladder which one of the fireman climbed to grab him and help him down to the waiting arms of his grandmother. As I watched in disbelief I thought “what would possess someone to climb that far up a tree in the first place”, but knowing this guy it wasn’t hard to understand why. One summer afternoon we decided to go swimming at the local pond, it was the favorite place for all the kids to swim and as usual trouble followed, he decided to show off his diving skills against my protests and as he hit the water his bathing suit floated away, again people gathered around.
Things didn't seem to get any better for him when he started high school, he met a girl that he really took a liking to but unfortunately she couldn't stand him.One day she told him if he wanted to loss his virginity he should meet her in the school at 8:00 PM and to get ready for a hot time. I tried to make him realize that she was going to make a fool out of him, but he wouldn't listen. Unbeknown to him she rounded up half the school to wait in the lunch room, she then told him to undress down to his shorts and meet her in the gym which of course he did. As he strolled in to the gym the lights came on and there he was standing in front of half the school in his jockey shorts, there’s another embarrassing moment.
The two of us started college the same year and I was sure things were going to start looking up for him, but this was not to be. He really didn't have much of a social life so if someone asked him to join their group he would jump at the chance to meet some girls and hopefully make a few friends, but more times than not they were only interested in making a fool of him. One night a bunch of creeps invited him to go skinny dipping with them in the park pool. I warned him against going but he was floating on air and wouldn't listen to me. They dared him to be the first one in and as he got into the water, they all jumped into their cars, stole his clothing and sped off into the night leaving him there wet and naked. As he hurried down the road clutching his manhood he was spotted by several motorists who then called the police, he was told he was going to be charged with making a spectacle of him self in public but when he explained to them what happened they felt sorry for him and called me to come down with something for him to wear and take him home. I really felt sorry for him and it infuriated me to see people treating him like that. He was, and still is, a great guy who wouldn't hurt a fly.
While my girlfriend and I were visiting him one evening she suggested that he try an online chat service, she explained that he can sit in the comfort of his own home and since he will be chatting online there’s nothing to be nervous about. She told him that he can get to know the woman by chatting with her and then later on maybe exchange photos, and if she wants to meet him just take it from there. I told him you're a one of a kind guy and you have much everything to offer a women and it hurts me to see you alone. I want you to be happy so please try it for me.
After contacting several of the wrong sites he finally discovered what he was looking for. He found a link that lead him to a great site and the the one hes been looking for. He has never been happier and I can see in her eyes that she really loves him too. That was a year ago and are still so much in love.
So take it from me some chat services are all they say they are. You just have to find the right one. So if you're having trouble meeting someone and need a little help then try the link below.
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/videodating.php
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