Even if you are not an outdoorsy kind of person, if you are dating over the course of a summer, you are likely to find yourself and your date communing with good old mother nature at some point. No matter what your definition of 'communing with nature is' (and that can range from tenting on a backpacking trail and using a Johnson-log to relieve yourself all the way to a 2 story cottage overlooking a lake, complete with Jacuzzi spa, hot-tub on the deck, and a boathouse, you will likely find yourself sharing many romantic interludes with your loved one. All that fresh air and all those sunsets are natural sexual invigorators – getting her in the intimate frame of mind, and reminding him about the natural side of being alive. The nights will also add their share of enjoyment as you sneak down to the water to skinny-dip under the full moon and the wash of stars in the milky-way. Likely all of these activities will result in 'sex in the wild'. There is however an element of health risk involved, so you should not just do the 'down and dirty' without being prepared. Big city living means that you do not have some of the natural resistance to bacteria that your cave dwelling ancestors did, so you must be more prepared than they were able to be.
Problem: Sex in the Dirt (and Not the Down and Dirty Type Dirt
Outdoor activities expose you to more grime, and with that, more bacteria. When you start a fire, you’re going to get covered in ash and grime (at least if you do it like I do). Barbeques will inherently get some sauces and juices on you. And then there are the layers of bug spray and sun block you have on your skin. All together, you’re pretty damn gross by the time you head back to your tent for some “private” times. No woman wants to give oral sex to a gross, dirty penis. And no guy enjoys fondling a boob covered in slimy grime. The thrill will fade quickly.
Solution: Hit the Showers
There are ways around this pitfall, of course. In many national parks, or even state level parks, there are usually shower facilities. Of course this does not help you if you are on an overnight trip on a backpacking trail and miles away from a shower. Going during off peak hours – like after midnight – is a way avoid facility overload. If you sneak in together, you can have a shower, and then shower sex together (likely though, unless you are in a same sex relationship, one of you will be busting into a facility meant for the opposite sex – maybe three in the morning would be better).
Problem: Privacy
Tents are pretty good at keeping out bugs and reasonably good at keeping out the rain. What they suck at is blocking noise. These walls are literally paper-thin. If you are engaged in sexual anything, everyone within ear shot will know. If you are on a group camping trip with other couples who have kids, this may cause some interesting questions the next day. Before you engage in sex in a tent, make sure you are okay with the looks you will get from inside and outside of your own campsite
Solution: Really Long-g-g Nature Hikes
This one works like a charm, as long as you remember some basic safety tips. First, don’t go where there are bears. They can kill the mood and you’re partner. Second, do not go on a long sex trek at night. Better to do it during the day, when wildlife is less prevalent, and you can see clearly as you run for you life if some scary animal shows up. Third, bring a pad or blanket to lay on so you can avoid getting dirt and bugs on you while you do the dirty. Also, let your camping party know you’re going for a hike. Now they can send the rangers for you in case you get all caught up in your escapades and do not get back in time.
Have fun this summer!
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